Reminiscing

Do you guys ever catch yourself reminiscing? I know I do.

Remember when life was care-free and money wasn't an issue and your biggest worries in life was not being able to stay the night at your friends house because you did something to piss of your mom?

I find myself reminiscing a lot here lately.

I would just love to jump into a Time Machine and take it back 10 years or so. Back when I was 13 and the joys of adulthood were not so overwhelming that you thought frequently that you cannot go on in day to day life. I miss the worry-less days, staying out all night playing television tag under the stars or playing with G.I. Joes in the front yard and making little contraptions for them. I miss gathering up all the neighborhood kids and playing baseball and full contact football, even though you would always leave with something that you thought was broken. I miss hanging out with all my best friends and talking like little boys do about little girls and then when they come around, you clam up quicker than White Supremacist in the middle of Harlem, and then bully the girls. I miss those short distance bus rides home, that actually seemed like hours on the way to and from school. Speaking of school, I miss going to school everyday and eating the terrible school lunches that were awesome at the time because mom did not pack you a PB&J with some Pringles. Recess, ah, Recess. Some of the best times ever. This is when you got to go wild as hell at school with hardly no adult supervision and cuss like a sailor and not get a "Whoopin" or get the dreaded bar of soap. Too an extent, I even miss getting bullied by the upper class men and then in turn bullying back the under class men.

I often catch myself reminiscing about my family situation as a child. Not to say that my situation right now is horrible, but what could have been different? Could I've not grow up wanting to kick my brothers ass everyday? Could I have developed a closer relationship with my dad? Would I have treated my mom a little bit different, and not put her through so much hell? And what type of life would I have now, if all of those things would have been different? Once again to reiterate, not that I would change my life a bit right now, But in the back of my mind, there is always that, "What If?" And could have any slight change throw off who I am today?

With all that said, I would not change who I am today in the slightest bit. I have learned never to dwell on the past, but to in turn, think about all the good things you have done and all the great people who have came into your life, some still here, some not and never-the-less, family will always be family no matter what. Even if you resent the ones that you love and that are near and dear to your heart. You will always forgive and forget.

So next time you are setting at your table, crunching those numbers and trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cents, thinkin you will never get those bills paid, just remember there is always that bright spot to look back on. Its called childhood.

Just when you think that you are down and out, God lifts you up and puts you back in the game.

Thanks for reading my first Blogspot post. And remember this;

"Life goes on, you gotta keep ya head up" ~ Tupac Shakur.